Interlude – Attachment

I’ve had my jacket for years.

It’s been on me through a gruesome accident involving a motorbike, and a much less serious, though harder on the jacket, crash on my bicycle. It’s kept me not-quite-warm-enough in Japan’s winter, and too hot in the Cambodian rain. It’s not particularly stylish, and it’s not fancy gore-tex, or anything like that. The zipper broke a week or two ago, and at first spent I most of each day really meaning to fix it, I youtubed the process and squinted at the teeth to confirm they’re okay, but now I’ve settled into a sort of quiet acceptance, walking with my hands in my pockets to hold it shut against the wind. It has the right pockets – one for my ebook and passport, soft and zippered, a small one on the arm for my knife, which has made it twice through Asian airport security, but got spotted and temporarily confiscated at Istanbul Modern, a small exterior one for my mp3 player, and when I’m worried about pickpockets, my phone, and side pockets big enough for gloves, toque, and camera. And hands. I love it. It isn’t perfect. I also love my boots, which I’ve had only a few months, but they’re easy to love. Hard-wearing, waterproof and light and supportive, they bring me constant joy. My jacket doesn’t bring me constant joy. When the day turns out too warm, I wear it longer than I should, getting sticky in its cloying embrace, because it’s heavy and a bit unwieldy in my bag. But I love it. Some things are easy to love, but those things are easily replaced. Sometimes love comes with time, and shared experience, with respect for abilities and acceptance of weaknesses. I won’t ever buy a jacket like this one again, but I’m not sure I’ll ever throw this one away.

One thought on “Interlude – Attachment

  1. Linda mushka

    Ah my son…you need a new jacket…to keep you warm where you are going….hopefully Bulgaria will have just the right one, with the right pockets! What a thoughtful writing on attachment. I am so proud of you and love you so much….What lies behind us and what lies before us are but small matters Compared to what lies within us…Ralph Waldo Emerson …….love mom

    Reply

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